Trick or TERROR?
by Dark Goddess013
Summary: The Cullen's- and Bella- go trick or treating and come across a creepy mansion. When weird things start happening is it ghosts or a prank? Well don't be lazy read it. Rated T for language. Read and review! One-shot.


Trick or TERROR?

Our story begins on a dark, slightly creepy Halloween night. The Cullen boys were sitting in the living room in their costumes, waiting for the girls who were- as always- taking forever. Jasper was dressed as one _fine_ cowboy; Emmett was dressed as one muscular Dracula and Edward was dressed as a… HAHAHAH! I can't believe this… no really I can't believe this… as in I do not believe this. To the humans he looked like a werewolf after the transformation but in actuality he was dressed as… JACOB! Emmett and Jasper were still laughing their asses off. Alice appeared gracefully at the bottom of the stairs in her black leather assassin outfit, which fit her _very _well, and aimed her fake gun at them as Rosalie appeared next to her in her sexy, tight, red devil costume and winked at them as Bella walked down the stairs carefully before stopping beside them in her cute, nicely fitting, white angel costume, complete with halo and wings, and curtsied.

"Ready to go trick or treating, boys?" All three girls asked, smirking as the guys stared, gaping

* * *

The Cullen's- and Bella- knocked on the door of the humungous, creepy mansion and the door eerily creaked slowly open to show… no one? They exchanged wary glances, well all of them except Emmett who lumbered in the house making them sigh and roll their eyes in exasperation before following him inside the creepy ass mansion. The door slammed shut behind them making them all jump in shock before looking around the dark, dank foyer. It looked like something from a horror movie; you know old, dusty furniture that had Alice cringing, dirty curtains that was blocking out any light from the moon outside, lights flickering, the shutters creaking back and forth even though none of the filthy windows were open and a rusty bird cage in the corner of the room that seemed to be empty… thank god.

"Hey Pixie, miss me?" Asked the bird's high pitched voice… spoke to soon.

"Oh God, what are you doing here?" Edward whined pitifully and the bird turned towards him to reply but upon seeing his costume promptly started laughing his feathery ass off before turning his attention to Emmett.

"Dracula huh? You work hard on that one?" The bird asked Emmett who stuck his tongue out at him which the bird returned before setting his sights on Rosalie.

"You're a devil, Blondie? Can you even spell devil?" The bird asked making her growl at him before defending herself

"Doth think you protest too much." The bird told her

"Doth think I'm gonna strangle your freaking neck, birdie chow!" Rosalie snarled, lunging at him only to be stopped by Emmett. The bird snickered before flying onto Alice's shoulder, nuzzling her neck as they started down the creepy hallway with dozens of portraits donning the walls. They seemed to be staring right at you, following your every move… especially one in particular… it was ugly… it was horrendous… it was ghastly… it was… oh, it was Jacob… my bad.

"Is it just me or is that painting's eyes following us?" Alice asked pointing at the ugly portrait and Edward scoffed, rolling his eyes

"Oh yes Alice, it's following you, the inanimate object is following you. God, you're losing it." Edward said and just as Alice was about to reply there was a terrible screeching sound, like nails on a chalk board and they all jumped. The bird looked up and saw all three guys in the girls arms.

"Manly aren't we?" The bird asked

A cackle rang through the room along with the sound of rattling chains and a creaking sound which made them look around for the source of it and they all screamed when the chandelier crashed in front of them.

"Wanna play a game." They froze and fell silent upon hearing the dollish voice and slowly turned around to see a Jigsaw doll at the end of the hall. They looked at each other and then back to the doll and did what every mature, responsible person would do… started screaming again. They all quickly ran into one of the rooms, locking the door.

'Knock, Knock'

"Who's there?" Emmett asked making Edward palm slap his forehead

"Here's." The person replied

"Here's who?" Emmett inquired and Edward started banging his head against the wall before an axe came crashing through the door followed by a clown masked head

"Here's Johnny!" The person yelled and they started screaming again before Emmett, shrieking like a little girl, ran through the door, arms flailing, trampling the person.

"Uh, I'm feeling… a little woozy here!"

* * *

Jacob sat in the attic, laughing his ass off at the vampires- and Bella- that were falling for his prank although he did wince when he saw Paul get trampled. They were so stupid, how could they think that this was real? Talking dolls, moving portraits, a murderous clown! Are you kidding me?! As if, none of that was real. I mean, he loved Bella and all but... damn, she dumb.

"_Jacob_?" He whirled around, looking for who said that… but there was no one there. How could there be? He would have heard if anyone came up so… who said that? Was he just imaging things?

"_Jacob_?" Okay, he knows he heard it that time but there was still no one there.

"Hello? Who's there?" He called out

"_Don't you know not to say that? It's a death wish, you idiot!"_ Well, that's a little harsh.

"Okay, you listen to me-" He started to say

"_No, you listen to me, you little shit! If you don't shut up, I'm gonna gut you like a fish!_" Okay then, someone's PMSing.

* * *

Alice and Rosalie ran into… oh shit! It was a basement, isn't that just fan-freaking-tastic? They may as well have 'Please kill me now' printed across their foreheads. They turned around and saw a metal table with crumpled up sheets and slowly… wait, what are they doing? Are they WALKING TOWARDS IT?! No! Turn around, you stupid bitches! Run bitches run!

"Hey Blondie? What do you call a basement full of blondes? A whine cellar." The bird quipped

"Shut it bird brain before I drag you to hell." She growled sounding truly demonic but of course it didn't make the bird falter.

"How do you get a blonde on the roof? Tell her drinks are on the house." He joked ignoring her snarling

"If you don't stop I'll sick the assassin on you." Rosalie threatened pointing to Alice and the birds eyes light up

"Oh would you? Please? How many more do you need?" He asked excitedly taking out a list of blonde jokes from god knows where. A loud moan coming from behind them stopped the conversation, they turned and saw FRANKENSTEIN'S F*CKING MONSTER! We heard screaming and then more screaming… and more screaming… and- you guessed it- more screaming. Alice, Rosalie and the monster looked down at the bird who was still screaming.

"Really?" The girls asked him incredulously

"Well, did you f*cking hear that? It was f*cking scary!" He defended and they started arguing

The monster sighed before sitting down on a chair making the house shake. The monster started tapping his foot while checking his watch before roaring at them.

"Shh! don't you know it's rude to interrupt?" He stared at them incredulously before banging his head against the wall causing it to crack when they _still_ kept arguing.

"Ugh, screw this." He said pegging the finger at the still arguing girls and bird before stalking away

[Two minutes later]

"Hey, where did the smelly lame weirdo go?"

* * *

Emmet and Jasper walked into a room and quickly barricaded the door only to hear maniacal laughter coming from behind them and when they turned they saw a… clown? Who would be scared of a clown? To answer that question no… sigh… scratch that… apparently Emmett is. Un-freaking- believable!

"Seriously? What do you want?" Jasper asked the reeking clown still shaking his head at Emmett

"Want… arm wrestling match… with him." The clown said in a demonic voice jerking his head at Emmett who whimpered in fear and Jasper shrugged shoving Emmett at him. Emmett took a shuddering breath before grabbing the clowns hand and promptly screaming when it started turning around and around like a windup toy.

"Ahhhhhhh! This is it! The clown attach! They're gonna kill us all! Save me! I'm too beautiful to die! OW! Why'd you poke me in the eyes?" Emmett whined before yelping when the clown smashed a pie in his face and then squirted him with a yellow liquid that smelled a lot like… oh shit. Emmett shook his head like a dog and then grabbed the clowns arm and ripped it off before beating him with it. The clown got back up and an arm came out to replace the old one and then the clown did something that they will never forget. He reached down and grabbed a… flamethrower!

"Oh shit!" They said backing away

"Say hello to my little friend!" He yelled out in a Scarface impression before firing it at them making them duck and roll

"Oh Shit! You had to piss him off!?" Jasper yelled as they ran out the door but Emmett didn't get out fast enough to avoid the next flame which hit him where the sun don't shine.

"OH SHIT!"

* * *

Bella and Edward were standing in a dimly lit room, making out. Seriously? They're in a haunted house right out of a horror movie and they decide that the smart thing to do would be to make out. IDIOTS! Haven't they ever watched horror movies?

"Oh Jacob." Bella said teasingly making Edward roll his eyes and scoff but before he could say anything the lights went out and Bella stumbled around in the dark for a little while when finally Edward found her and they started kissing again.

"Oh Jacob… WAIT! Jacob!?" Bella exclaimed as the lights came back on but before she could say anything the lights went back out and she heard… kissing? Why was she hearing kissing? She wasn't kissing anyone so… who was? When the lights came back on her eyes came upon a sight that would forever scar her.

"Oh Jacob… JACOB?! GET OFF! Oh God, I gotta bleach my mouth… and my brain… and my eyes." Edward muttered in disgust as he shuddered

"This never leaves this room. Ever. I'm serious. Nobody."

* * *

The guys, the bird and Rosalie were all standing in the foyer waiting for Alice and Bella who had mysteriously disappeared

"Hey Blondie. What can strike a blonde without her knowing it? A thought." The bird quipped making Rose growl and the wolves howl with laughter

"I'm warning you." Rosalie snarled

"Okay fine. Jake, how do you make a blonde forget something? Blow in her ear." The bird- who really needs to get a name- joked and the wolves once again started laughing but were cut off by a piercing scream that chilled them all to the bone. Bella walked jerkily into the foyer, gurgling and reached out a bloodied hand towards them before collapsing to show a butcher knife sticking out of her back. They all started screaming and back away from the body and towards the stairs.

"Guys, what's going-" Alice started to say as she appeared at the top of the stairs but she was cut off by hands grabbing her head and ripping it off and both her head and body rolled down the stairs, landing by their feet which made them start screaming again as they looked to the top of the stairs and saw… Samara. Looks like they had finally pushed her off the edge. She slowly started down the stairs where they stood frozen and she lifted her arms and… took off her mask to show… Esme!

"I can't believe you fell for that! Carlisle, you were right! They fell for it!" Esme exclaimed laughing and Carlisle appeared next to her in a flash laughing along with her as Alice stood up from the floor her head popping out of her costume as she brushed herself off laughing along with them and Bella also stood from the floor taking off the fake butcher knife laughing along with them.

"So you guys were behind this entire thing?" Rosalie asked them

"No, most of it was the wolves but this, yeah that was us. We got you good, huh?" Esme said

"Why did Alice and Bella get to be in on it and not me?" Emmett whined and the rest of the Cullen's nodded their heads in agreement. Esme and Carlisle looked at each other before looking at their kids and shrugging, answering in unison

"There are favorites." Making Alice and Bella smirk and look smug and the rest of the kids gasp in outrage

"Mutiny! Betrayal! The pain! I can't take the pain!"

"Shut up Emmett." Everyone said

* * *

"So it was you guys who were up in the attic with me?" Jacob asked as they walked down the street

"What are you talking about?" They asked together confused

"In the attic when you were calling my name and everything. That was you, right?" He inquired

"That wasn't us." Carlisle told him with everyone agreeing

"Then who was it?" He asked

"Um, guys? Where's the mansion?" Bella asked curiously and slightly fearful. They all turned expecting to see the gigantic and creepy mansion they had been spent the evening in.

But the mansion was gone.

* * *

Happy Halloween

Please review

Xxx Dark Goddess013 Xxx


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